This past few days, I’ve feeling like I’m about to go mad each day. My (almost) two years old is almost always talking, and she develops a bit of a tantrum now. When I (sometimes) don’t understand her 2-years-old language (I mean she says ‘iji bell’ when she wants to say grizzly bear….) she would scream. When she wants to be hold while I’m cooking (or peeing, or showering, or anything else), she would scream. In short, she screams a lot nowadays and it annoys me like crazy, I swear sometimes I just want to let her be til her papa comes home.
So yeah, being a stay at home mother has its perks. When working mothers might have different struggle like wanting more quality time with their children, I have all day every day with my daughter. I have other struggles. Like the thing that bugs me most days is that it’s hard for me to find me-time. Although I cherish the existence of my lovely daughter, I miss those me time that I need SUPER badly. I also miss hanging out (without my daughter) with my friends, and those 2 hours straight massage sessions where I don’t have to worry about my daughter.
I’ve also had those nights where I prefer to sacrifice my sleep to have a little bit of me-time doing some self healing routine (I use Tapas Acupressure Technique, you can read about my class here), watching some movies I like, or write something (like now), even to work on something, because believe it or not, sometimes work stuff (I do a little side job at http://www.BalanceLife.id) seems exciting compared to motherhood that’s not always candies and rainbows. Those stolen-sleep-converted-to-me-time actually makes me feel better even though I might have to survive with panda eyes the next day.
I feel tired, but sane.
Since motherhood is not something I can cancel or postpone for even a minute, I promise myself that when I feel a bit crazy I gotta do something about it. For the sake of everyone. Because happy mother, happy family, right? Sometimes no one is looking out for you better than yourself, and that’s the sole reason why I feel like I should take care of myself. That’s why I go with tired but sane, than to have enough sleep but on the brink of insanity.
Finding joy is necessary. It is essential to keep you sane! Remember, happy mother, happy family! 🙂